Shy seemed to be on the mend for a bit last night and we thought the antibiotics were working.
Overnight, her temperature for worse again and reached a high of 39.9 at 5am.
She’s back on paracetamol and nurofen.
All I’ve been doing since I was told is crying. This has to be my fault.
I’m too scared to go and see her now, especially as I’m still ill. I’ve already done too much damage. I don’t know what to do anymore except stay away. I miss her so much.
Doctors for me at 12.10 to try and sort myself out. That’s all I can do
Shareen – this is not your fault. Small people, new to this world, pick up bugs really easily and she’s in the very best possibly place to be looked after. Your heart will ache, your tears will flow but be strong and know that you are surrounded (albeit in a virtul cyber sort of way) by people who have, in turn, shared similar pain and come through it. Part of the rollercoaster of parenthood are these horrible lows but in time the highs will come and we will share those with you too. Hang in there, get yourself sorted and never doubt your ability as a mother – you have carried your beautiful daughter and delivered her into this world and are doing everything you can x